Chaos and Dolphins in Fair Verona
by the-dolphin-tales
Summary: A collection of drabbles on various characters in Romeo and Juliet, two per prompt. Prompts are welcomed! Contains crack, angst, canon pairings and implied  non-canon  slash. :D Prompt 3: Memory.
1. Dolphin I: Romeo and Tybalt

Hello everyone! This is the first in a series of drabbles by two writers, snow-dolphin and rainbow-dolphin. Though we're here mainly for fun, we would really appreciate your reviews. Prompts are also welcomed! :DD

Each prompt will have two versions, one by each of us. This first drabble is by rainbow-dolphin :DD Please read and give concrit! :D Many thanks in advance!

Note: This (non-)drabble takes place in an alternate universe where the fight between Tybalt and Mercutio never happened.

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Romeo and Tybalt

Prompt: Dolphin

Warnings: Implied slash

Rating: K+

**Disclaimer: We're not dead, we're not Englishmen, we're not even one person; clearly we are not Shakespeare. **

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><p>The city square was filled with crowded masses, hundreds of everyday Italians bustling about their lives. A normal day in Verona - but not so for everyone.<p>

The day may have been warm, but the young Capulet loitering by the fountain in the centre of the square was untouched by the heat. If anything, he was unusually cold and still. If he could, he probably would have frozen the entire fountain over. An extraordinary sight, considering his fiery temperament.

"What ho, cuz!"

Tybalt glanced up. His features immediately rearranged into a scowl, one that Romeo was certainly familiar with.

"What are you doing here, _Montague_?" Tybalt spat.

Romeo grinned. "You seem awfully unhappy today, good Capulet." He sobered. "What is amiss?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself with," Tybalt said curtly, turning.

"Tybalt, wait!" Romeo grabbed Tybalt's shoulder.

"What!"

"If… If you need my help, just ask, okay?"

The Montague sounded so turned back to face him, eyes narrowed. No, there was absolutely no deceit, no ill intent in those eyes. In fact, this - this _enemy - _seemed so genuinely worried for him that Tybalt struggled to control the impulse to dump him and his (not unappreciated) concern in the fountain. Perhaps the heat was getting to him.

"Montague, I cannot fathom why you would extend a hand to an enemy."

Romeo winced, and Tybalt grew more suspicious. "Could we not be enemies? Is it impossible to entertain the idea of being friends?"

The idea caught Tybalt completely off-guard. "Friends?" He asked incredulously. Was the Montague insane?

"Aye!" Romeo beamed. "We could be friends! Have fun together, help each other when in need," he said meaningfully, "and resolve the family feud!"

"Resolve the… Montague, are you feeling all right?" Distantly, Tybalt thought he should be asking himself that; he swore that Montague's strange notions had just caused the world to veer completely out of control and turn somersaults on its axis, finally stuttering to a stunned stop.

"Yes, of course I am." Romeo frowned. "Tybalt, are you well?"

"Yes, I am!" Tybalt snapped. "Honestly, what is wrong with you?"

The Montague had the gall to look confused! "I don't know… Is there something wrong with me?"

"_I _asked that question! Heavens above, the sun must have melted what little intelligence you possess! First, you, a _Montague_, ask me, a _Capulet_, whether I am well, with no apparent condescension or ill intent; next you propose that we become friends; and then you ask that we incite our houses to make peace! Art thou mad? No, answer not, I can see the answer clearly. You, with that, ridiculous smile on your face now, like, like," here he pointed back at the fountain, "like one of those accursed dolphins, grinning and spouting absolutely ridiculous notions like water-"

And then Romeo put his hand over Tybalt's mouth, smiling amusedly, but with the slightest hint of worry in his eyes. The sudden movement and closeness shocked Tybalt. "Tybalt, stop your rambling. I assure you, I was completely serious in suggesting what I did."

Tybalt, regaining his senses, threw Romeo's hand off his mouth angrily. He dearly wanted to stab Romeo for the unwelcome intimacy, but something about Romeo had jarred his beliefs, and he… he wanted to know more about the Montague's strange propositions.

Romeo grinned again. Did he never stop smiling? "I suppose the fact that you're not killing me means there's hope for us?"

"For _us_?"

"Then it's settled! Meet me here tomorrow! I want to introduce my friends to you and yours. Maybe we can really work something out!" And with a grin and a backward wave, the Montague _disappeared _into the crowd and just _left _Tybalt there like the chaos he had left Tybalt in was completely unimportant.

Tybalt was definitely going to be here tomorrow, and it would be to bash that Montague's head in for his ridiculous notions and dolphin-ish actions today - and most definitely _not _ because he was seriously considering Romeo's suggestions.


	2. Dolphin II: Romeo and Tybalt

Snowdolphin: Hi. Pies. Bye. Enjoy.

I mean...yeah I really don't have anything to say, sorry for the short note. Hope you enjoyed rainbowdolphin's first one-shot-drabble-thing-which-is-really-over-the-100-word-limit-of-drabbles. Mine is grossly over the 100-word limit too, but I hope you enjoy. Feedback is much appreciated!

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Romeo and Tybalt

Prompt: Dolphin

Warnings: Heavily implied slash

Rating: K+

**Disclaimer: Neither of us two dolphins owns Romeo or Juliet. We also apologize to William Shakespeare who we assume is turning in his grave right now. **

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><p>Romeo isn't sure what to think when Tybalt approaches him one day and gives him a stuffed dolphin. It's the size of his sole, with beaded eyes, and looked a bit short of stuffing- reminded Romeo a bit of a deflated balloon, really. It's also made of silken grey fabric, smooth to the touch- its natural sheen utterly squandered by the childish black stitching along its sides and the way dark creases formed where it was made to fold into a dolphin-esque shape. Clearly this sort of fabric wasn't made for plush toys- and clearly the maker of this plush toy didn't know what he or she was doing.<p>

"Tybalt;" Romeo pauses in his appraisal of the toy and looks up at the Capulet, confused. "What's this for?"

"N-nothing." Tybalt's cheeks redden, and he hastily withdrawing his hands into his cloak- but not before Romeo sees that they are swathed in bandages. Looking down at the poorly-crafted dolphin, Romeo connects the dots pretty quickly.

"Did _you _make this, Tybalt?"

Tybalt flushes even more. "I- I just- oh, just shut up, Romeo!"

"What's wrong, Tybalt? It's a wonderful plush toy."

"Shut up Rome- wait, what?"

"I said;" Romeo repeats, amusement evident in his features; "that it's a wonderful plush toy. The fabric is very well chosen, the stitching is very pretty, and it's very cute." He refrains from saying that the fabric is utterly inappropriate, the stitching is pretty but childish; but it _is_ quite cute. _But not as cute as Ty-_Romeo quickly shuts the thought out of his head as he sees Tybalt's face light up with pleased satisfaction.

"Are you pulling my leg, Romeo?"

"No, Tybalt. And by your reaction I'm sure you did this?" Romeo smiles. "Now tell me why."

"I...well...it wasn't my fault I got dragged into this! Stupid toymaker said he was _better_ than me, and that I couldn't make plush toys _at all,_ and I couldn't take that! But then after everything blew past I didn't know what to do with Flippers here, and-"

Romeo decides not to comment on the fact that Tybalt had _named a plush toy_. _Flippers_.

"-I just-um- well, I...I thought of you." Tybalt purses his lips and glares, daring Romeo to try making fun of him- which Romeo thought was quite childish, really. So the Montague simply shrugs and offers another smile.

"That's very sweet, Tybalt-"

"-I'm not done yet." Tybalt adds.

Romeo raises an eyebrow, mouths an '_ooh?_' and gestures for Tybalt to continue, which he does.

"Because I knew you were really nice and all that, the way you cared for Juliet, and- and- I think you'll be able to give Flippers a home. I can't- Lord Capulet'll rip poor Flippers up and then laugh at me if I keep him in my room, so...um...take care of him, okay?" Tybalt suddenly becomes very interested in the carpeting of Romeo's floor.

Romeo laughs, a sound that makes Tybalt shuffle uncomfortably (but is that a blush spreading across his face there?). "Sure, Tybalt. I'll give Flippers a warm and loving home. For you." He purposely picks up the beaten-looking dolphin. "Actually, could I change its name? Tybalt Junior would be much better- it'll remind me of who gave me this wonderful dolphin, and I'll be more inclined to..treat it better." Romeo cuddles the dolphin to his chest, casting Tybalt a _look_ as he dips his head to kiss the toy on the top of its snout.

The shade of red that Tybalt's face goes is a once-in-a-lifetime sight. Insults against your family and general violent tendencies aside, that boy could be so cute sometimes.


	3. Sonata I: Paris and Benvolio

Snowdolphin: hehe this is so random and vaguely angsty. I sincerely apologize for forgetting that Paris had died at the end of the play (whoops~ XPPPPP) Enjoy!

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Paris and Benvolio

Prompt: Sonata

Warnings: Implied slash

Rating: T

**Disclaimer: Don't own Romeo and Juliet. **

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><p><em>Some say it's not over 'till it's over<em>

_Guess this is really over now_

His fingers tap away at the organ with shameless abandon; he pours his soul into the instrument and listens numbly as his sorrow floats through the church building.

Juliet is...gone?

For...real?

Paris still can't accept it. So he keeps playing, playing with the futile hope that if he grieves enough the gods above would take pity on him and bring Juliet back, o-or- or that he will step out of the church to a world where Juliet is alive.

_Please be happy with him  
>So that I can forget you<br>Please forget how miserable I looked  
>It's going to be unbearably hard for me<br>For a long while to come_

Romeo Montague...as much as he wants to hate him, he can't. That man will make the love of his life happy, so he can't hate Romeo.

...but what about him? What about insignificant, ignorant little Paris who didn't even _know _that his fiancé had married another-

Friar Lawrence coughs from the doorway. Paris ignores him, continuing to play his sonata- the Friar is unimportant. _Everything _is unimportant now that Juliet is gone.

So he keeps playing, ignoring the set of footsteps that lightly tread to the church organ and pretending to be oblivious to the sudden presence nestling itself by his left side on the chair. But he _does _notice when suddenly a harmony line strikes up, in perfect time with his- Paris stops in shock, and looks to the person playing beside him.

It is one of Romeo's friends - Benvolio, if Paris isn't mistaken. The other man pauses, offers him a sad smile. "Will you not continue, County?"

And so he does; rather surprised that Benvolio is playing in perfect harmony with his piece- it's by no means a particularly complicated sonata, but duet pairs rarely get a piece harmonized well on their first try, so how-

"Does it hurt too?" Benvolio starts quietly from beside him. "Having everyone you care about dead and gone?" His voice catches, just slightly- but he still pulls off a set of complicated-looking staccato fifths. "Realizing that...you're the only one left behind?"

Paris pauses again, but Benvolio doesn't stop - his countermelody lifts itself above the rest of the piece for a while, a sad and haunting baseline. _He knows_, Paris thinks to himself. _He's lost his loved ones too- Romeo, and Mercutio. _"Yes, it does hurt." Paris doesn't even know he was going to say that until he hears himself speak.

Benvolio lets out a strange, soft sound almost like a whimper. "For the majority of my life, I've settled for just being the hanger-on in Romeo's band of three. At least Romeo and Mercutio acknowledged me- that's got to count for something, right?"

Paris' heart ached as he remembered all those years of staring fondly at Juliet during all the feasts and balls Capulet held, making light conversation with her, wishing that they could go further- then checking himself, because Juliet was still too young and he should let her enjoy her childhood. He nods, mutely; his fingers beginning to play again. He feels a little like his body isn't under his control right now, and numb all around. Paris doesn't like all the worms Benvolio is digging up.

"-and then...I didn't realize- I didn't realize it would hurt this much, when those you love are gone. And you're left all alone again. It's almost like, they've left you behind on purpose." This time it is Benvolio who stops playing; he looks down and chuckles bitterly to himself. "Pft, what am I thinking. I apologize, County; for rambling. You probably think I'm a madman now."

"I don't think you're a madman." Paris, control your mouth better!

Benvolio looks at him, a strange light in his eyes. "Pardon?"

"You're not a madman. I do understand how you feel."

Juliet...she's gone and died and is probably making merry with Romeo right now...and what did he get out of all this? Out of all his effort?

Benvolio bows his head again, looking pained; without thinking, Paris frees one arm and wraps it around the other man's shoulders. Benvolio shifts his playing to cover that line, shivering slightly under the County's touch-

-what on earth, Paris. Seriously?

Paris ignores his derisive conscience, or whatever that voice was.

"Thank you, County. For caring."

"You're welcome. Thank you, Benvolio, for understanding."

After all, if they could play a sonata in perfect harmony the first time, it was bound to be a sign from Fate.

And if your loved one was so cruelly robbed by the very same Fate, you were going to settle for any compensation you get.

Perhaps Paris _could _step out of this church with the knowledge that Juliet was not coming back, after all.


	4. Sonata II: Paris and Benvolio

Ehhh... This is rainbow-dolphin. I... don't really know what this drabble is. I had no idea what to write about Paris and Benvolio FYI, Paris is dead and Benvolio is... somehow able to travel to the afterlife in his dreams?

Please read and review! Concrit is greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance :D

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Paris and Benvolio

Prompt: Sonata

Warnings: Possibly implied slash if you tilt your head to the right, squint a little and get high on copious amounts of whatever your drug is ;)

Rating: K

**Disclaimer: I don't even know why we need this. Shakespeare has been dead for centuries. Consider this the last disclaimer. **

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><p>Gentle winds billowed through the tree branches. In its arms, it cradled the voice of a flute; a faltering, whispering keen, fragile, like a lone wolf's howl battling the frigid silence.<p>

That was certainly how Paris felt. Lowering the flute from his lips, he watched the wind, softly cruel, wrench leaves from the boughs and fling them on the ground.

"Cruel fate, are you like the wind? Stealing us hapless fools from our desired place, dashing our dreams to the rocks?"

"Perhaps indeed; or is it really taking us where we are meant to be?"

Paris turned to see a young man - a boy, really - smiling dryly in the shadows. "Art thou Capulet or Montague?" he asked tiredly.

"Neither; in death, do we not lose such material attachment?"

The question startled Paris. "Indeed, you are right. But for some, material attachment matters too much," he noted wryly, thinking of angry Tybalt, and his ever-feuding forefathers, though they be dead.

The boy sat down by him, and they settled into a companionable silence.

"That was a beautiful song you played."

"Thank you. I wrote it for Juliet," he confided, surprising himself. "Juliet Capulet. Of course, it is all for naught now."

"Has the lady heard it?"

"No. I never played it for her in life, and I have been loathe to meet her since…" _Since we died and I found out she already belonged to another. _

"I am certain she would be happy to hear it. And just as happy to accept you, even if just as a friend."

Paris looked at the boy, and found sympathy in his dark eyes. "And you would know because?"

The boy grinned mischievously. "Would it be too presumptuous to say because I know everything?"

Paris raised an eyebrow.

"All right, all right. I don't know everything. But I did witness many a happening in Verona," he added. "Many a happening indeed."

Again there was a silence, and Paris found the boy's company rather enjoyable.

"I should have to leave soon," the boy said quietly.

"What? Why?"

"I don't belong here," he said simply.

"You're… you're not dead? How are you here then? A dream?"

"Would you… would you play that song again? I liked it," the boy murmured quietly, not looking at Paris.

And so Paris lifted the flute to his lips again. A lilting melody slipped from his fingertips, breathy and uncertain. It lifted and fell, like a hopeful dove seeking to fly, only to fall. The two swayed to the sweet soprano, the frenzied staccato and the passionate crescendo.

And then the last note whispered out to the early dawn, and when Paris turned again, Benvolio was gone.


	5. Memory I: Romeo and Lord Capulet

Snowdolphin: ...I'm not a dolphin of many words. Um, I mean when it comes to author's notes. When it comes to writing I'm a dolphin with too many words. But ah well. Enjoy!

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Romeo and Lord Capulet

Prompt: Memory

Warnings: None.

Rating: T

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><p>"<em>He bears him like a portly gentleman; and to say truth, Verona brags of him to be a virtuous and well-governed youth<em>." Capulet grunted dismissively, waving aside Tybalt's requests to attack the Montague among his guests.

The dark-haired, hawk-faced Tybalt scowled, features twisting into a mutinous grimace-

Lord Capulet wasted no time in rounding on the younger man, because no other Capulet was going to challenge _his _authority on _his_ turf at _his_ feast. "Go to, go to, you are a saucy boy. Is't so indeed? For shame!"

He watches idly as the young -and pretty handsome, by his standards- Montague approaches a lady with a lovesick smile on his face. The girl's back is turned to Capulet; he can't see who she is, but he absently remembers smirking and mentally telling the Montague to '_have fun, boy_'.

"_They stumble that run fast_." Friar Lawrence intones seriously after Romeo as the boy brushes past Lord Capulet on his way to confession; the old Capulet ponders on what that could mean but doesn't push it.

It is, probably, totally irrelevant to him.

Romeo bobs his head and utters a cheery greeting, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his family and Capulet's are feuding enemies; the boy's enthusiasm is infectious, and Capulet can barely resist twitching his lips as he sends a curt nod back Romeo's way.

But the Montague is gone. Probably got himself hopelessly in love or something like that. Lord Capulet remembers the time when_ he _was like that, but the memories are foggy.

"_Romeo slew Tybalt, Romeo must not live!_" Lord Capulet's shrewish wife hisses spitefully, daring anyone to challenge her declaration with anger-brightened eyes. He hears Montague attempt to argue on his son's behalf, but the Prince does not look convinced.

He doesn't think Romeo is that sort of lad. In fact, he thought Romeo was an alright lad. Even a lad good enough to be let near his precious daughter.

So he steps forward, clears his throat and states mildly, "His fault concludes but what the law should end- the life of Tybalt."

Capulet ignores the shocked stares, the whispers of _-why would a Capulet speak for a Montague_- behind his back, simply focuses on the Prince's contemplative look. Montague shoots him a mouthed thanks which he spies out of the corner of his eye.

Finally the Prince exiles Romeo, and Capulet decides that it's better than the death sentence.

Lady Capulet wouldn't talk to him for the rest of the day, but at least he did a good deed with this old life of his.

"_Father! I beseech you on my knees, to hear me with patience- to speak but a word!_" Juliet pleads, desperation etched into every contour of her smooth face.

And here's the catch- Capulet stops, listens, realizes that Juliet is deeply in love with Romeo and would never be happy wedded to Paris.

"Romeo is in Mantua." He replies, not as a challenge or objection; but simply a statement. "Will you be joining Romeo there or finding ways to bring him back?"

His daughter knows the answer may determine her future. Cleverly, she decides to patronize her father and choose the latter- "I would never dream of leaving you, Father."

"Very good, girl." Capulet replies, curtly. "I will postpone marriage arrangements for one month. If Romeo is not back within Verona gates by then, don't blame me for being harsh on you."

Juliet bursts into tears; but these are tears of gratitude.

This way no one was going to blame him for not giving the girl a chance.

A month later, Romeo and Juliet get married under the willow trees at the edge of Verona. It is a grand ceremony, with lace and silk adorned everywhere and the masses crowded around-

Capulet blinks.

The white lace turns to black; the cheering crowds hang their smiles upside down and weep. He turns his eyes to the willow trees, where two enamel coffins lay- coffins, he knew, that contained the bodies of his daughter and the Montagues' son.

This was not a wedding. This was a funeral.

Those weren't memories. Capulet never met Romeo while heading to mass-never spoke up for the lad when he got banished- never gave his daughter a chance. Those were hallucinations; things he _should _have done for a happier ending, not this tragedy.

But how was an old fool like him to know?

Capulet thinks the best thing to do would be to keep Romeo's memory as spotless as possible; remember the boy as the portly gentleman Verona once bragged of him to be and not the boy who was led astray into a suicide along with his daughter.

But_ what happened_ to that well-governed youth?


	6. Memory II: Romeo and Lord Capulet

Hi! :D This is rainbow-dolphin here with my drabble on this prompt. I have nothing to say about this, so please, read, enjoy and review!

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Romeo and Lord Capulet

Prompt: Memory

Warnings: None.

Rating: K+ to T.

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><p>"More wine, master?"<p>

"All right, sirrah." Lord Capulet took the refilled goblet from the servant, laughing at his companion's comment.

The party was in full-swing, merrymakers singing and dancing in the candlelight. Leaving his companions to their conversation, Lord Capulet took a moment to take in his handiwork. It was a grand affair, he noted, congratulating himself proudly. All the rich lords and their families, save Montague, and his own nephew (whom he ignored), were clearly enjoying themselves. He scanned the crowds for his daughter, hoping to catch her with the County. But soft! Was she consorting with that Montague, whom Tybalt had so pointed out?

As he watched, the Nurse called Juliet away from the Montague.

Lord Capulet hurried over, in time to hear Romeo Montague's companion urge him to leave.

"Nay gentleman, prepare not to be gone; we have a trifling foolish banquet towards," Lord Capulet called out.

Romeo made to whisper something in his ear, but he placed his hand on the young boy's back and pushed him to the centre of the hall. "Come, come, this is a grand celebration! You and your friends must dally a while! It has been long since I have had chance to speak to youth. Refreshing, for one of my age," he winked.

"Ah, certainly, sir," Romeo smiled charmingly, but Lord Capulet could see the unease in his eyes. Not that he could blame the boy; this really was all a cover, after all.

"Some grapes?" He offered a bunch, which Romeo politely accepted.

"It does not do for one so young as you to sigh so; that is for ones as old as I," he chided jestingly.

Romeo laughed. "I do apologize if I offend; my mind is weighed by troubles heavier than the ones they replaced."

Lord Capulet raised an eyebrow. This was interesting. "Oh? Are youths so easily troubled? Come, it must be something nigh important."

"I fear it is nothing refreshing, sir," Romeo smiled dryly.

"Humour an old man then, good child."

"I am merely… pondering, why we love to hate so."

"Oh?"

"Aye. We, weak humans, we can hate each other with such passion, for things of little apparent concern as… a name, or a word."

"Good lad, hatred is never for things of little concern. And a name may make all the difference in the world."

"But why must it?" Romeo replied with startling vigor. "Wherefore hate, when we all can and do love? When we hate another, do we not hate someone who is friend, brother, father, son, husband, _lover_ -" here the boy stumbled, almost imperceptibly, "- as well? In the face of all these, does a name truly matter anymore? And hate - that in itself is an emotion both vile and ill-advised. Does it not tire, to hate so constantly?"

For a moment, Lord Capulet was unsure of how to respond (a rare thing), simultaneously surprised by the passion and conviction of the boy, and condescending towards his naivete. But then his thoughts screeched to a stop. Wherefore hate, indeed? He tried to think of a reason for his grudge, strained to remember the cause of their long-standing feud. But perhaps it was his old age - his memory failed him.

For a moment, he felt disappointed. Romeo was still speaking, voice hushed - and yet it seemed to echo, full of emotion and raw idealism. Lord Capulet found himself captivated by the boy's words. But at the same time, he could not accept it.

Was this Montague - he had almost forgotten the boy's true identity - proposing peace? An impossible dream! Capulets, make peace with Montagues? A direct contradiction to how things are meant to be! How could hundreds (in truth, he was not sure of the number) of ancestors' hate in and pain from feuding be so forgiven, much less forgotten? How could an age-old enemy, one so bitter, just be accepted like that? The boy was speaking of things that were completely unfeasible - a fool of his own idealism.

And so smiling, he waited for the fire - odd, the polite boy had never struck him as so emotional - to burn out, and politely walked the Montague and his company out.


	7. Lunch I: Romeo, Tybalt, Benvolio & Mercu

Hello, everyone! This is rainbow-dolphin's drabbly thing. Again, it's in an AU - a University AU this time. Hope you enjoy it! :) Hopefully it's not too weird

Fandom: Romeo and Juliet

Characters: Romeo, Tybalt, Benvolio, Mercutio.

Prompt: Lunch

Warnings: Implied slash if you wish to take it that way. Or you can choose to believe it's just Mercutio's dirty mind.

Rating: T

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><p>"I got a pocket, pocket full of sunshine…"<p>

Tybalt groaned, letting his head drop onto his desk. _Ow_.

"I've got a love and it's all mine…"

_Deep breaths, _he reminded himself. _1, 2, 3, 4… _

"…sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh oh oh…"

_…7, 8… Screw this. _"MONTAGUE, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Geez, someone's swallowed a few hairballs," Mercutio snickered from the living room. Someone sighed - it must have been Benvolio.

"Aw, come on guys, I'm making you lunch! At least let me have fun doing it!"

"Tell that to Mr. I've-Got-Hairballs-Stuck-Up-My-Ass, sweetheart."

_Heavens above, what have I done to deserve roommates like these?_

And then the luscious scents of home-cooked pasta and warm soup spread through the tiny apartment. Tybalt cursed his stomach.

"What's for lunch?" He stomped into the kitchen, and tried to look less like he was about to steal all four plates of fettucine alfredo.

"Cat balls," Mercutio quipped.

"I didn't cook cat balls," Romeo frowned. Tybalt dearly wanted to punch that _genuinely confused_ look off his face.

"Mercutio's just joking," Benvolio assured Romeo, whose face immediately brightened, and he set about serving the soup with an even brighter, even more annoying grin.

Tybalt made sure to sit as far away from Mercutio as the tiny table allowed him. This brought him closer to Benvolio, but he didn't really mind; Benvolio might be a Montague, but he was the sanest person in Tybalt's entire life, including Tybalt himself, and most definitely including Romeo, Mercutio and his uncle.

The four men had been living together since their first year at university. Thankfully, they were all graduating this year. Words could not describe how overjoyed Tybalt was that in a few months, he would no longer have to put up with these idiots. Ever.

"Benny, aren't cat's supposed to be dainty?" _Oh, god. This is why I hate him. _"Apparently Tybalt's an exception. Absolutely no manners. Horrible reflection of upbringing."

And it continued throughout the _entire _meal. Just as it had for every meal they had shared for the past few years. Benvolio had long given up on stopping Mercutio; Romeo hadn't, but he was so dense that half the time he thought Mercutio was just jesting and not _provoking _Tybalt. Tybalt just wished Mercutio would shut up, if only because he didn't want to go for anger management again - and NO, not because Romeo's cooking was _so damn good he always wanted more and he couldn't imagine not eating this goddamn awesome food for the rest of his life after he moved out and-_

"Ty-Ty's throat is so full of hairballs, see, he can't appreciate good food. Romeo, you really wasted your time on this hopeless case."

_When I graduate, the first thing I do will be to take a plane and _fly _to the furthest point on Earth from Mercutio_.

So lunch passed, a grand happy affair indeed. Ah, yes, the usual sights, Mercutio jesting at Tybalt, with not the _slightest _hint of spite; Tybalt, gritting his teeth because he was trying so hard not to laugh - and no, he was not clenching his fists; Benvolio, sighing with happiness - and not exasperation, no, never! - and Romeo grinning happily at the wonderful show of camaraderie.

Tybalt would never admit it, but he couldn't be happier when lunch was over and Mercutio dragged Benvolio off to buy a motorbike, of all things - when they certainly had better things to do, like _study_.

And _then_ - why were his roommates so bloody aggravating - Romeobegan _singing that god-awful song again like some broken tape recorder and oh god why?_

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?"

"But I was only singing," Romeo said, eyes wide.

"No, you were- ugh!"

"Why, Prissy-pants?" Mercutio called from the doorway. "Maybe you should just release all that UST* and jump -" And thankfully, the rest disappeared as Benvolio pulled Mercutio away before Tybalt could pounce on him like the famed King of Cats he was (but really, cats just _loved _him - what can you do about that?).

_Maybe _I_ won't fly as far away as I can from Mercutio. Maybe I'll send _him _as far away from me as possible. To the Arctic. To... improve diplomatic ties with polar bears. Yep. He can annoy _them_, and we'll see how well _they_ treat him. _

He turned back to Romeo. "Look, just, just don't-" And then he stopped, because Romeo looked kinda down. _I'm such a sap. _"Okay. Fine. I don't care anymore. Sing. Sing your heart out! Go be an opera singer! Frankly, your cooking is the only reason I put up with you!"

And he stomped out of the kitchen, trying very hard to tune Romeo's joyful singing out.

* * *

><p>*UST: Unreleased Sexual Tension.<p> 


End file.
